Therefore My Heart is Glad

I am purging. I am cleaning. I am moving every waking moment. It hurts. My children can’t fully comprehend what we must do. So we let them have precious play time and don’t drag them into these things so grand and so hard. I don’t want them to bear this burden.

The information is a relief. It confirms what I have had to fight for. It validates each piece of this thing we call escape. It’s giant and threatens to consume me. It won’t, but I still cry. I am angry at our competitors that would devour us. Decay of my child is what I imagine, because it’s the truth. Just breathing air. No coughing hacking symptoms one would imagine. Just silently and slowly trying to take him to the grave. That’s what mold does. It sounds so morbid because it is.

We have confirmation that my son has both PANS and CIRS. Mycoplasma Pnumonia is the infection that his immune system is trying to attack as it also attacks his brain. He’s positive for the HLA “canary” gene. Susceptibility has always been there. Looking back, it makes sense to me now. In an overwhelming and confusing sort of way.

Lyme disease is negative. Revealed past Epstein Bar Virus exposure which is quite normal. I didn’t know that, so it was alarming. His blood literally holds the memory and we can see it.

Today I will be picking up a prescription binder that will not allow as much mycotoxin in the bile to be re-absorbed by the intestines.  It’s to be taken 4 times each day. We will have to begin slowly, and work up to higher amounts as is tolerated. Which I have read about and it’s not something any mother would want to impose on her child.

We have to take herbals in the place of antibiotics. We are all likely resistant, at least some of us. My son was on antibiotics two years ago and I hated that. I felt it was needed because he had pneumonia that wouldn’t go away for months. I didn’t feel like it fully worked, but I had hoped it would help more. We’ll be finding out via nasal swab testing if we all truly are resistant. MARCoNS is something I have barely looked into. I have been down every rabbit hole I knew to try and now I have several more. I will figure out linking these in the blog later. I’m going in.

Psalm 16:5-11

5The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;

You have made my lot secure.

6The lines of my boundary have fallen in pleasant places;

surely my inheritance is delightful.

7I will bless the LORD who counsels me;

even at night my conscience instructs me.

8I have set the LORD always before me.

Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

9Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

my body also will dwell securely.

10For You will not abandon my soul to Sheol,

nor will You let your Holy One see decay.

11You have made known to me the path of life;

You will fill me with joy in Your presence

with eternal pleasures at Your right hand.




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s