Twenty three weeks. I can’t believe it. It’s been that long since confirmation of what we already knew. We already had a plan, and so we took no chances and jumped. I don’t regret it. What followed is mostly a blur. It took much longer than it should have to escape our house. We took every precaution we possibly could to not cross contaminate. But even bodies living in a space will do that. Of course the construction hang ups on the property were to be expected. But they kept coming. Now the goal is to just finish the shop before snow. My husband is doing that plus overseeing remediation and re-build of the other house’s interior while running a busy company. Oh yes, he has a wife and kids, too. We look forward to every chance we have to spend time with him. And hopefully not add more stresses. Besides the move we are about to make again
Three months in a trailer isn’t so bad. If you are adventuring. If you have the right clothes for the season. If you can control humidity. Yes I have the tools. If your friends come visit you. If you are invited and included with those nearby. If everyone is well. If you’re not very injury prone. It’s not all bad, but I wish I could erase a lot of it. Just for a little while. Forget. Look back to before. Oh yes, before mold. My new timeline. Because what it means to us is un-fathomable.
I thought it would sink in. I thought more would understand if they heard it enough times. Which I really, really tried to not over share. And then always wondered if I had done it anyway. Thought of contacting people repeatedly to apologize for saying too much because perhaps they didn’t ask. Or want to know that much detail. Because when I say that it’s a lot, it is. And I have been told that people don’t want to be around it. Neither do I. I’m sorry. I will try to not go there. That would be easier if I wasn’t asked. And then if I am it’s really hard to draw the line. The short story is pray for us. But love us. In person. Be my friend. And I’ll talk about it. If I am not told what not to say
The things I have had to decline! I wish I didn’t have to. We cannot take your used stuff. But thank you so much. Please do share it with a family not so awkward. Please don’t describe to me, after I politely declined, that it’s not moldy. If I describe further you likely won’t want to hear the reasons or actually KNOW what the numbers mean to us. Please don’t ask me if you are not ready to hear the real answer. Politely tell me that I will get through it and then never call me. Assuming that somebody else will.
I haven’t opened my mouth on the Internet much at all. It’s so cold. Surface. Like a text that is just that. Some words and that’s it. LOL. And so I don’t know where to go to bleed with tears but to my Heavenly Father. Working every day to enter into His rest. Oh that’s the rest I need.
For the record. If there is one. As many have thought, we did not just move into a house. We moved into a travel trailer in a rocky and muddy construction zone. True danger. Not because it’s cute. Not free from the stresses of owning two properties but no livable home. Constant construction in both places, while the tiny space we live in goes down fast. The symptoms in my son increasing. Mom is the one to see that. Must be my parenting. Some visuals and knowledge of humidity or not getting the “mold food” which is dust from that one window just that one time. But that’s “normal“ for an RV. And that’s “normal“ for the Pacific Northwest. Every. Single. Day. If I speak to anyone outside of my household. It’s hard for me to hear this, knowing what I know. The only one who knows the numbers and what they actually mean for us. Don’t. I’m really begging. I know, you didn’t mean to. I know it. This is next level crazy. But it’s OK, I know it will still be said. I am just so tired.
I tested the trailer. I knew it was a waste of money, but it was helpful in a few ways for me. I did a surface dust ERMI from http://www.envirobiomics.com just like before. Just like the beginning of our mold journey. It’s actually better than 9 out of 10 homes you would find in our area. For us, that’s not saying much. It revealed the specific group of species that my son’s body has in high-levels of and cannot easily excrete. For this reason and more, we began plotting escape again.
We have been a little “floaty” And technically homeless for a couple of weeks. Eric has been getting by at the trailer because he has work on the shop to complete. A very good friend, his right-hand man, fell from about 16 feet up a couple of days ago. He won’t walk for at least three months. In a wheelchair at best up until he can put weight on his crushed pelvis and six broken ribs. Praising God that his life was not taken. The kids and I arrived 30 seconds after it happened. They still don’t grasp the severity, and that’s OK. Please pray for his healing. He does not have insurance and we are helping him in every way we possibly can.
We have found a home for healing. In just a few days we will get the keys and we will have at least 12 months there to heal and find a rhythm. It is not far from the home we left just a few months ago. We can have the dogs, it is fenced, no carpet to trap dust or to offgass. My husband wired it in July and even has full video of every wall. It baked through the late summer with finishing touches. We could not ask for more right now. Well, other than the fact that we own no furniture.
Some mattresses are on the way. Here I go with my frivolous shopping habits again. I’m just kidding! In all seriousness, I don’t have a choice. You have to have things to live. I’m waiting until we get the keys to buy winter coats for all five of us and we are just trying to layer in the meantime. Most everything from inside the trailer that belongs to the kids or myself is in our new minivan. I go back-and-forth with my comfort level of that scenario. The gray lines, praying, the numbers, praying, the species, praying, duration, praying. Always praying that I will make the right call. It’s too much on my husband to go into any of it. So I am praying and using every tool I have. I am tired.
4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!5 Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is [c]near. 6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all [d]comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is [e]lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, [f]dwell on these things. 9 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.